New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
