When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize