I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
