We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
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you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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