Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize