I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.