you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once