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I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.