We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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