How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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