its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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