I look better un-naked...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
