Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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