You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize