I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
