Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
this is an emotional support booty call
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
