I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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