i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
