Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
