Did you just see the Batmobile???
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
