they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize