You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
