her vagine was all disorganized.
I look better un-naked...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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