hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
