if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
