we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
