we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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