Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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