He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
