Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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