I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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