So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
