Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
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The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
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I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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