i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
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I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
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She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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