he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
