After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
