dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
