Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
