I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I am available for nakedness
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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