Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
