She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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