You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
