You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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