You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize