Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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