I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
