i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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