I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
