at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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