I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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