my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
3 2 1 whiskey
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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