don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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