end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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