im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
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