Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
