Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
